Inspiring and overwhelming

It's almost too much...after being inspired by a friend's workshop on dealing with the state of the world and finding the strength needed to contribute to its healing, I heard an interview with Joanna Macy, the woman on whose ideas and methods the workshop is based. It was the experience of hearing someone not only express, but embody- in personality,in attitude- the ideas I'd been reaching for and trying to articulate.

The theme of the interview was "don't be afraid of the dark." What does this mean? Well, on Thursday night, I heard another inspiring person, this time Stephen Lewis.

For the past few years he has been witnessing the horrendous toll being exacted on Africa by the AIDS epidemic. His words, delivered with trendous passion, painted a picture to break anyone's heart- a picture of heartrending suffering, of inexplicable destruction, of callous indifference. Why look at this picture? Turn away now, or it will surely break your heart. But wait! If you turn away, what will you be missing? You will miss the other parts of the picture- the parts in which people draw on unexpected inner strength to deal with heartbreak and worse- to deal with unimaginable trauma. The parts in which people help people rebuild their lives and their communities- the spirit of life coming to the aid of life in distress. Look away, and you will not see our strengths- our own strengths; our common strengths.

We look away with foreboding and we do not see that we are strong despite our frailties. We feel weak and isolated. But imagine- if we could only focus on those qualities that could make us strong together, and support and celebrate these qualities in ourselves and in each other, rather than distracting ourselves with destructive pursuits- what then? Of course, it isn't that simple. There are so many practical details to concern ourselves with- so many points on which to disagree. But then again...in a way, once we get to the heart of the matter, maybe it is that simple after all.

And so, Stephen Lewis showed how a heartbreaking picture in words can yet be powerfully uplifting and hopeful. A powerful illustration of Joanna Macy's point- we need not be afraid of the dark.

The sort of evening that makes me exited about being alive

Around Concordia I ran into an old school friend who I hadn't seen in ages, who insisted that we get together some time.

Then, I went to a really inspiring talk on the healing power of theatre, by the director of the drama therapy centre at Concordia. Being a theatrical instigator myself, I guess I naturally warm to this subject, but I also know people in the program, and it was nice to see video footage of them. It was also very moving to see footage of people with developmental disabilities basking in applause after their performance; to see them glowing with new confidence about themselves and about interacting with others. It also made me think of how theatre has been healing for me and has allowed me to bring out and develop sides of myself that previously operated in hiding- I guess that's why I'm now addicted to theatre.

An inspiring evening- and then yesterday evening, lots of people came to a practice for my dinner theatre project, and for the first time this year I could feel that there was enough energy here to carry the project forward. It often takes time to reach that point, but I think we've reached it. Of course, this is only the beginning, but definately crucial....

What obligations would those be, then?

"Canada is on track to meet all of our Kyoto obligations except for our target," (our Environment minister Rona Ambrose) told Parliament last week.

ACTION ALERT: IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED TO RELIEVE DEBT IN THE AMERICAS
ACTION IMMÉDIATE REQUISE POUR DELIVRER LES AMERIQUES DE LEUR DETTE

A reminder for myself and an encouragement to anyone reading this:


The Social Justice Committee calls on Brazil to take action in support of debt relief for Bolivia, Guyana, Nicaragua, Haiti, and Honduras before December 31,2006. These countries suffer from extreme poverty, which is related to the debt burden imposed on them by major multilateral creditors. Whereas creditors such as the International Monetary Fund and the African Development fund have agreed to cancel 100% of the debts owed by their most impoverished debtors, the Inter-American Development Bank (IADB) has failed to provide debt relief to its debtors that are most in need. Action leading to the relief of this debt has been delayed by Brazil, which is unnecessarily concerned about the financing of the debt cancellation.

Some things to consider:

· All five of the above countries owe well-over 50% of their debts to the IADB, amassing a combined debt of over 3.5 billion dollars.
· Instead of sufficiently budgeting for social programs that serve to fight poverty, these countries are forced to repay millions of dollars in debt. For example, in 2005 Bolivia was forced to expend 30% of its national budget on repaying its debts- money that would have been better spent on providing basic healthcare and education to the population.
· The IADB can undoubtedly withstand this debt cancellation, as it is a powerful institution with US $101 billion dollars in capital. Consequently, Brazil’s concerns are not justified in impeding the debt relief initiative.

The leaders of these countries have requested that relief be implemented by December 31, due to the urgent nature of this issue. Brazil must be pushed to take action and agree to a debt-relief program for these countries. Without debt relief, it is unlikely that any of these countries will be able to break out of the vicious cycle of debt and poverty. Write to the Brazilian ambassador today, and urge him to push the Brazilian government to take immediate action to relieve the IADB’s debt.


Include in your letter:
· Who you are and where you are writing from
· That you are concerned about the extreme poverty that exists in Nicaragua, Bolivia, Guyana, Haiti and Honduras.
· That you think it is important that the IADB cancel its debt to these countries, and that it is important that Brazil take immediate action to push this issue forward.
· Your signature, and make sure to add your address so that the ambassador will know where he can write back to you
· Send your message to:

His Excellency Valdemar CARNEIRO LEÄO (M) Ambassador Embassy of the Federative Republic of Brazil - Ottawa, Canada450 Wilbrod Street Ottawa, Ontario K1N 6M8 Canada Tel: (613) 237-1090 Fax: (613) 237-6144 mailbox@brasembottawa.org

Yesterday I went to see a talk on poetry, literacy and bodily experience. It's something that's difficult to grasp from a lecture though. Luckily, the speaker also read some of her poetry, accompanied by a musician. There can be a music even just in the reading (the rythm, or even just the sounds of the words) but when the music of the reading and the music of the, er, um, music, work together, a new music emerges to be lived in and to live in the listener. Something like that.

One exercise we were asked to do was to write in reaction to a button:

Ode to a Red Button

This button makes me think of how small things that are red on khaki green backgrounds are larger than life, for they stand out, out and about proclaiming themselves in distinction, proclaiming themselves by what they are- red in this case- a case of identity, not mistaken, but could be a matter of over-generalization in categorization: its redness seen as definitive, but surely a button is more than its colour- it connects openings and closings of clothing protecting us from the elements- elements like those that are now on my mind and outside of my window- cold and grey elements in which the red and the warmth are doubly distinct.

Saving the Fraser-Hickson Library

The Fraser-Hickson library in NDG has long been an important presence in the community, but unfortunately it looks set to close. It has long operated on a private endowment but can no longer be sustained that way. The city has saved many millions because this library has been operating. Everyone knows that as it is the city’s libraries leave a lot to be desired when compared to those of other Canadian cities- now is not the time to let a library close.

Online petition: http://www.petitiononline.com/fhl341/petition.html

On Saturday I finally went to see Darren Ell’s photographic exhibition, "Between States", after weeks of procrastination. More details here- Review of 'Between States'.

I also wrote a song called "What Is This Love?". I conceived it as a meditation on how easily love can turn ugly. It soon dawned on me that it contains some pretty barbed lines that I could imagine someone having said to me with some justification, although that person was too nice to do so. So it's up to me, the nasty one, to come up with lines like "No way to live, passive aggression’s/the way to leave a bad impression", "You declare your love with every threat/explaining that it made you upset", "Slamming the door, saying we were worlds apart/you tried to win a war that I tried not to start". And then there’s the chorus: "What is this love that you say you feel, that turns to anger to prove that it’s real?"

Hopefully this is part of the process of learning some important lessons.

It's Rememberance Day today. My mixed feelings: What Are We Remembering?

I'm serious when I say Donald Rumsfeld has a way with words, and there's often a philosphical aspect to it. It reminds me a bit of some of the stuff I write. But it hardly makes up for some of his, um, other qualities. I wouldn't want to be him.

"Things will not be necessarily continuous. The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous ought not to be characterised as a pause. There will be some things that people will see. There will be some things that people won't see. And life goes on."

Indeed, life does go on- although I can't helping thinking about those for whom it doesn't, thanks to the war.

Glass Box (from "The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld, edited by Hart Seely)

You know, it's the old glass box at the -
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's -

And it's all these arms are going down in there.
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it
But -

Some of you are probably too young to remember those -
Those glass boxes,

But -
But they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.

Unfortunately, a lot of Rumsfeld's verbal cleverness allowed him to not deal with reality, like when he said "Absence of evidence is not necessarily evidence of absence", allowing him to remain in denial on the issue of WMD's. Or what about this statement about the differant kinds of "attacks":

"A random round can be an attack, and all the way up to killing 50 people someplace. So you've got a whole fruit bowl of different things - a banana and an apple and an orange."

Let this be a lesson to all of us who pride ourselves on our verbal cleverness.

He may have left a lot to be desired as defence secretary, but he did have a sort of way with words:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/quiz/questions/0,,1943315,00.html

Philosophy (epistemology)- 'The message is that there are known knowns - there are things that we know that we know. There are known unknowns - that is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns - there are things we do not know we don't know. And each year we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns.'

Detective Work- ‘We know where they [Iraq's alleged WMD] are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.

Libertarianism- 'Stuff happens. It's untidy, and freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.' (has anyone told the ‘law and order’ people about this?)

Open to all possibilities- 'He [Osama Bin Laden] is either alive and well or alive and not too well or not alive.'

A sense of wonder- 'This is fantastic - I've got a laser pointer! ... Holy mackerel ... ah man, that's terrific!'

A straight-talker- 'I shouldn't get into ... this is diplomacy, and I don't do diplomacy.'

Too much of a straight-talker- 'We do have a saying in America: if you're in a hole, stop digging ..... erm, I'm not sure I should have said that.'

More epistemology (the relationship between belief and knowledge)- 'I believe what I said yesterday ... I don't know what I said, er, but I know what I think, and ... well, I assume it's what I said.'

Ethics- 'Well, um, you know, some things are neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, I suppose, as Shakespeare said.'

Ethical implictions of actions- 'It's like, you know, stirring for troubled waters.'

Seeing Iraq in pieces- 'What we are seeing is not the war in Iraq. What we're seeing is slices of the war in Iraq.'

November Optimism

Is it my imagination, or am I becoming more optimistic?

Answer: It is my imagination, and I am becoming more optimistic.


There were two situations that I felt trapped in for months. One is clearly about to come to an end, for as I've mentioned before, I'm moving. The other is a sense of emotional attatchment that's been misplaced- let's leave it at that. I'm cautiously optimistic and cautiously optimistic about that situation.

Time to be patient, to remain calm, laying the groundwork for better times to come

It’s about time for some good news: American voters have sharply rebuked the Bush administration, giving control of the House of Representatives (like our House of Commons) to the opposition Democrats.

This is but a small step in the right direction, but a small step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction, right?

New possibilities arise,
shooting sparks,
lighting up the darkness of the night,
causing much exitement,
but followed by disappointment
when they fizzle out

They did show, briefly but brightly,
that other things are possible,
and really, that is enough

well, for a while anyway

Good news! I'm moving!

It's good news because I feel good about where I'm moving to. I'll havea friend for a roomate, and I'll be in a place where it'll be less of a struggle for me to be true to my values.

I'm in an exiting time of change. Last time I felt like this was in April-May, a time of possibilities. But unforseen events (and some foreseen ones too) got in the way.

Some things are not meant to be. Sometimes one must work that out the hard way. Repeatedly! Oh well.

A Good Cause From Amnesty International/ Churches

The Canadian refugee system does not allow refugees to appeal a negative decision from the Immigration and Refugee Board on the merits of the claim.

Why not write your MP about this? The right to an appeal is fundamental, because it reduces the chance of people being harmed by unjust decisions. Just click on this link:

Give refugees the right to appeal: support Bill C-280

I remember that around this time two years ago, Canadian churches held a "Sanctuary Week", thus noting how the churches were becoming the final refuge for refugees facing deportation with no ability to appeal. It's a shame that things haven't changed much since then. But the church services were good, especially the one at Union United. A predominantly black congregation, they had an approach to worship that seemed so alive in comparison to what I was familar with. Also, their church was packed and seemed to be a major community focal point- again in contrast with most other churches in Montreal.

Unfortunately, they were to lose their rather charismatic minister less than a year after that. He hadn't passed all his Divinity courses. But he could preach! He used that skill in his activism too, not just in church.

That Sanctuary Week was when I really discovered this issue, thanks in part to a friend who was doing a project on it. It's good to see Amnesty International picking up on it. Solidarity Across Borders has been on the case for years, but it can only do so much on its own.

Clarifying Nonsense

Sometimes I wonder whether the things I write cross the line into gibberish (see A Clarification for an example). I enjoy playing with words and with the ideas behind them. What does it mean? Well, in the case of “A Clarification”, I think that it’s that the playing is the point, and that besides that there are no firm conclusions being drawn here, although the reader is welcome to come up with her own interpretation.

Some of the things I write draw on real events, but only as starting points for wordplay and/or idea-play. Although reality provides good starting points for stories, its own stories aren’t always the most interesting ones- or necessarily ones that I’d wish to tell.

So There IS a Logic to it After All! / Thoughts on Halloween

"Bush keeps saying the terrorists hate us for our freedom. And he's working damn hard to see that pretty soon that won't be a problem."- Bill Maher

See http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/20061027.html) for more from his monologue, which also touches on women wearing "sexy" costumes on Halloween. I've been so out of touch on the latest in Halloween costume fashions- first I heard of this was from One Female Canuck! (see Are you a Picasso?)

Halloween? Bah, Hambug!

No, but really- my roomate told me that he paid over $200 for his Halloween costume this year! From his perspective, I suppose his investment "paid off"- his costume won a prize at a party. From my perspective, things like Halloween should be occasions for having fun, not feeling pressured to spend large amounts of money trying to outdo other people- and it seems to me that the sexy costumes are just another example of that. I mean, it's fine if somebody wants to express his or her sexuality, but when people decide that they need to project "sexiness" just to please others or conform with others, it seems to me that that is not true self-expression, and definately not liberating.