A question- maybe somebody out there could help me with this one:

What sort of music does one compose for a song designed to sung by a drag queen who regularly spouts fire and brimstone sermons about keeping one's financial house in order? Oh, and the song lyrics feature several references to an "invisible hand"- just use your imagination on how that image could be used...

One thing I’m realizing yet again is that I can be greatly affected by watching movies or even television- getting a barrage of sound and visual impressions.

Last night, I went to a film series where I saw a movie about Archbishop Romero, which confronted my senses with the vivid impressions of a country in a state of tension escalating into terror. A situation where psychotic cruelty was pressed into the service of preserving wealth and power. An impression of life lived knowing that at any time you could be gunned down, or worse yet, be dragged off, tortured and gruesomely killed.

Having recently been on the margins of an event of psychotic cruelty bursting in to hurt and destroy, I felt those old feelings of high tension come flooding back from last September 13. But there were also feelings of rage at those responsible for such atrocities. If at that moment I could have had revenge on them all somehow, I believe I would have.

There’s inspiration to be gained in looking at a life- and death- like Romero’s, but that also confronts me with unanswerable questions, like what I would do in that situation.

I still feel very tense and highly scattered. I think "haunted" is the word, actually.

Under the weather/More of the same

I'm fighting a cold now. I was in rather high spirits last week, so I didn't sleep so much, so I got tired just as I was going back to work.

I didn't see President Bush's televised address last night
(text at http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/article2144495.ece) but as expected, his new course for the Iraq war is more of the same. In fact, it's telling that the image most often used to describe Bush now is that of the compulsive gambler, betting that this time his luck will change.

What's less noted is that while Bush paints a dire picture of what would happen if American troops left Iraq, all the things he describes are things that are already happening. All he can really say is that they would happen even more if American troops left. Those things will also happen even more if American troops stay (unless a "temporary" 15% increase in troop levels somehow proves decisive). And those fearing a regional conflict should American troops leave should take note of Bush's not-so-subtle threats against Iran and Syria, and remember how the Vietnam War was spread to neighbouring countries in the name of cutting off supplies to the enemy.

As for Bush's threats against the U.S. client regime in Iraq, the trouble is that if the consequences of not supporting them are as dire as he says, his threat to stop supporting them if they don't shape up rings kinda hollow, doesn't it?

My New Year's Resolution is very simple and very complicated at once. It is to be easier on myself.

Looking back over the past year- and years- I see that I often think and feel in certain ways and think and but simultaneously feel that the way I'm thinking and feeling is all wrong, and how can I be so stupid (my nagging inner voice). Needless to say, this generates considerable confusion and things invariably go wrong- and then my nagging inner voice gets to sit back and say "See? I told you so."

Also, I'll try to take on fewer obligations and work on my own creativity.

I actually made quite a lot of progress on being gentler to myself in 2006, so I'll building on that in 2007.

Hey, when I get it right, will you tell me please? (Joan Armatrading- a great song from her album "Walk Under Ladders")

I am rather enjoying dealing with people with whom the above is not a question rattling around persistantly in my mind.

A rather beautiful day today, warm and sunny- in January? Hmmm....

Think I'll go for another walk....

See ya